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Thursday, August 11, 2011

Poem I Wrote After The Buried Life Left

Once the cameras stopped rolling and I gave my final tearful goodbye to Ben and the crew what had happened over the last few days started to sink in. I had a night where my dream came true and so many strangers, now friends believed in that dream enough to come together and make it a reality.
As I continued to reflect I was brought back to a time when I wasn't so lucky. A time where I was afraid to admit what I was going through, and instead I hid from the world. As I let myself continue to get lost in my past, I slowly realized that's exactly what it was, my past. Which meant I had a choice to make. I could continue to look behind me and slowly become who I once was. Or I could continue to grow and learn from this life changing experience. The path was clear to me for the first time in a long time, it was time to move forward. Like most things in life you can't move forward without saying goodbye. So this is my goodbye to the girl that hid from the world, and is my hello to the world that can no longer hide from her.
Dear World,
Soon my fears will be brought from darkness to light.
I am no longer afraid.
Soon my scars will no longer be hidden, but on display for all of you to see.
My scars have started to fade, and my heart has started to heal.
Soon my masks that I have so delicately created, will be broken and all of me will be exposed.
I have started to love the person who has been hiding behind them, and I am learning to accept her.
I have been so blessed to have people I love, people who don't even know me, and newfound friends support me. But I am one of the lucky ones, I am one of the blessed.
What about the girl who still hides her pain, and hides behind her mask? Or the boy who still struggles with the emotions you have told him to hide?
What will you do to them when they are ready to step out of the darkness and into the light?
It is in your nature to try and scare them, and tell them to go back into their darkness and hide there. It's where they belong, and it's the only place they are safe.
We all know that isn't true, so now you have a choice.
Let them come out of the darkness and embrace them in your light. Or continue to send them back, and keep them there.
If you choose to let them shine, you will be amazed at what you will see. They have so much to give, and so much to share. They will be delicate at first, but in time they will strengthen. You can be a part of that, and in turn be strengthened by them.
If you choose to send them into the darkness yet again, know you are making such a huge mistake. Not only because it is simply wrong, but you are losing the chance to see the beauty they have inside. Do you really want to feel the burden of keeping them silent?
If you are on the fence, come and attack me. I have been so blessed, and because of that you no longer scare me. No matter what you throw at me I can almost guarantee I have already faced it, and I've won. If I haven't yet, I have the support system to help me fight. I am one of the lucky ones, not all are as lucky as I am. Don't take away the hope they have finally realized they have.
So world, what will it be?

Note from Lexie: This was orginally published on MTV along with my follow up video here is the link to check it out :

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